My Neuro elective, so far, has kind of lived up to that label on my previous entry. After the shock of being asked to go on duty for the weekend, I decided to ask permission to be excused and start the following Monday instead because I had no confidence that I could be mentally and emotionally prepared. And I was really desperate to go home just to keep my sanity. (I couldn’t bear the thought of treating my elective like a regular rotation when OB-Gyn is up next; I need a break!) Thankfully, they weren’t that strict and permission was granted, giving me two days to relax at home. :)
Monday was a little crazy. First thing in the morning I reported to the residents’ call room and since it was still early, I was told to hang out at the clerks’ call room for the meantime. While waiting for specific orders I decided to join my batchmates taking the regular rotation for a Neurosurgery lecture; and then I was informed that I was to meet my consultant preceptor at the OPD at 10:30 am. But this rendezvous didn’t exactly push through because she arrived late and had to attend to the third year students, while I had to hurry off to my Pedia exam (which was kinda difficult, by the way). Sometime afterward, I bumped into my resident buddy, who was on her way to see her patients in the Neuro ICU (NICU) and in the Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU). I decided to join her and observe her do her rounds. I felt a little awkward just standing nearby though, because other than getting oriented about the patients, I had little else to do but watch her and do errands like take the patient’s BP or fetch the relative from outside. Anyway, it was just my first day so I let it go. Late in the afternoon, I was able to catch my consultant at the Neuro office and finally got to discuss my objectives with her. I realized that going on duty was inevitable after all; but at least I was able to bargain to have my weekends free. Hurray! :)
Tuesday gave me the blues. It was my second day and rounds still meant “watch-your-resident-do-her-thing” in my vocabulary. Every now and then she would explain the cases to me and assign me topics to read up on. She also let me examine one of the patients and allowed me to record my PE on the chart. Even then, I still felt like a sore thumb sticking out—confused and unsure of what I was to do specifically. When we’re not doing rounds I wouldn’t know what else to do but stay in the call room and study. Was I supposed to be left to fend for myself or go scurrying after my resident the whole time? I needed clarity about my job description—being assigned a resident buddy was not enough.
That night was the least toxic duty I’ve had in my still young life in PGH. Ma’am said she would text me if she'd be summoned to the ward, but there was no referral during the night. The only time I left the call room was just to check on our patients, study one of the cases, and follow up lab results. I slept the rest of the night, taking turns with the duty team to lie down on the only bed there was in the call room.
Wednesday—things began to look up again. After a little debate with myself what to do next, I decided to go down to the ward and check on our patients. I got to examine just one (out of three), because ma’am soon caught up with me. But it was fine; at least she saw my initiative, and I felt less of a ‘space-occupying lesion’ because she involved me more. She let me sit beside her and explained how to write orders on the charts. We still discussed theoreticals as we went from patient to patient; those questions I couldn’t answer off the top of my head became reading assignments as usual. After the rounds I was free to go… but before I could finally rest, my classmates invited me to join their service rounds with their consultant. I went willingly, expecting to play the role of a mere observer. However, when we reached the second patient I was able to join in the discussion too. I was thrilled because it was about brain herniation, a topic I studied just the day before. To think I was previously wishing that I was with a different resident… if that happened indeed, I might not have been assigned to study that topic, and I wouldn’t have been able to contribute answers during the rounds. Indeed, there is reward when one studies. :) I just hope I can keep it up…
Thursday—rest day. Thanks, super typhoon Egay. ^__^
♪ Everyday it’s true, You make all Your mercies new… ♪
This past week has been quite a ride. But after Wednesday, I felt God’s reassuring hand upon me. He has shown me that He’s in control right from the beginning. The thrill from the consultant rounds, the warm reception from the only two Service B residents (I’m currently part of Service A), the comfort I began to have, the lifted spirits—it was all Him. He answered me not so long after I pleaded with Him to take away my discouragement just the day before. And just as He has been sovereign and gracious this week, I pray that He will continue to prove Himself so for the remaining weeks of my elective. If I get another round of ups and downs, I pray that His peace and presence will be my anchor.
Help me enjoy this elective, Lord. All for Your glory.
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